Bill good

The “feel good” factor has assumed an entirely new dimension in Madhya Pradesh where the chief minister, Uma Bharti, is feeling so good that she has dismissed the idea of her men being fed the simple fare of chana-moongphali (roasted grams and peanuts) during the cabinet meetings she lords over twice a week. The new menu of the new regime apparently has dhoklas as snacks, followed up by a sumptuous lunch or dinner, all at the exchequer’s expense. While nobody is complaining about the free food, the move has generated a number of free-loaders as well. Uma had supposedly debarred senior officials, including principal secretaries, from attending these meetings. But not to be left behind, virtually all of them, with secretaries and commissioners in tow, have been filing in to sample the vegetarian spread. Meanwhile, the bills are piling up, putting the finance department in a quandary over how to account for the expenses. Oblivious to the commotion, the sadhvi has gone her own way, enforcing “austerity measures”. Her latest move has been to completely ban flowers and bouquets being presented to her at official engagements. What? Feeling sick?

Target practice

Who framed Ambika Soni? Her loyalists are frantically trying to find an answer to the question after the Punjab Congress committee came up with the incredible suggestion that the high-profile gen-sec be made to contest a parliamentary seat from Hoshiarpur. The move has caused many to smell a rat, especially since Soni’s previous electoral stint had been disastrous (in Meerut, she even lost her deposit), and more so because in Hoshiarpur, she has the probability of facing either the dream girl, Hema Malini, or garam Dharmendra, both of whom are campaigning for the BJP-Akali combine. Fingers have been pointed at the usual target, Amarinder Singh, the Punjab CM, who is known to love to hate Soni. But there are other suspects. Infighting to the finish?

Flying down

No end to Congress worries. The leadership is greatly agitated over the fact that the market will soon run out of private planes and helicopters to be hired during the elections. Apparently, the saffronites have booked most of them and those who privately own planes are unwilling to lend them out to the Congress. Even Kamal Nath, the industrialist turned Congress MP from Chindwara who has one, is having second thoughts about giving it to the party. The reason is supposed to be the party’s not paying up the last time he had lent it his aircraft. Nath had apparently sent the bills to AICC treasurer, Motilal Vora, after the elections, who in turn had sent them to madam herself, placing Nath in an embarrassing position. So no flying around this time. In other words, it means a Congress without wings.

Lord of the ring

Chandraswami is gone, welcome another swami! The capital never seems to be quite itself without a godman in the circus. Which is probably why Jallandhari Baba is such a hit with the capital’s power elite. From cabinet ministers, to the deputy prime minister’s top officials to the cream of the Indian judiciary, everyone seems to be enthralled by the guru’s magical powers of healing and networking. Little wonder the godman has such a steady stream of guru-struck people walking in and out of his farmhouse on the Mehrauli-Gurgaon Road.

Better luck next time

It pays to be in the IFS, well most of the time. Charges of misdemeanour against officers are invariably brushed under the carpet for fear of sullying the image of the exalted service. Take the instance of this junior level diplomat posted in China who was having a rather cosy relationship with a local woman working in the Indian mission. When the Indian ambassador got wind of the affair, the diplomat was sent back home. The UPSC is supposed to have recommended his outright dismissal given that charges of financial irregularity had also been levelled against him. But the foreign secretary stepped in and the matter has now been referred to the prime minister, who, invariably, is sitting on it. What luck!

Never say die

Happy days seem to be here again for our Pranabda. From the madam herself, to her number one, Ambika Soni, to the lowliest Congressman, everyone seems to be at his beck and call. When Sonia was asked recently at a dinner hosted for journalists when she would be visiting West Bengal, she looked askance at Mukherjee, and said with a sigh, “When the boss will take me”. God speed, dada!

Hair’s breadth

The “look good” directive to Congressmen has yielded unusual victims. Jairam Ramesh recently targetted Anand Sharma’s trademark beard using it as a pretext, asking him to shave it off. “Good” god!

It’s all in the mind

We still don’t know if Sonia Gandhi is heading for the better or for the worse. On the one hand, the saffronwallahs are struck by her growing confidence. The other day, she stumped M Venkaiah Naidu by her rather sudden question, “Why are you always after me?” Naidu took several minutes to regain his composure and come up with the rather tame response, “Madam, it is not you, but the Congress we are after”. On the other hand, to her own partymen, she seems to be losing her mind. Sonia has reappointed the same people as state Congress committee chiefs that she had herself dismissed soon after taking over the reins of the party. Which is why Ranjit Deshmukh is back in Gujarat, JB Patnaik in Orissa and Chaudhury Prem Singh in Delhi. To a party member, she is supposed to have confessed, in keeping with her guru mantra of openness, “I have done a great folly in re-appointing Deshmukh in Maharashtra”. To another, she is said to have mentioned, while looking at Prem Singh, “Perhaps he was the PCC chief before, too”. Amnesia, or plain ambivalence?