HOME AND HEART: David Blunkett

All for the PM?s man

The story so far: Tony Blair, Britain?s Big B, has expressed full confidence in David Blunkett, 57, who thinks he is the father of a small boy and a baby that his former lover, Kimberly Fortier, 43, the American publisher of The Spectator, is expecting.

Blair has also drawn a distinction between the home secretary?s private life and his public duties.

Fortier has dumped Blunkett and returned to her husband, Stephen Quinn, 60, the angelic publisher of the British Vogue who has forgiven his wife.

Blunkett insists he has done nothing wrong and that all he wants is access to his children by Fortier ? he has three grown-up sons from his first marriage which ended 14 years ago.

The British public is thoroughly confused by the moral issues. Blunkett is single, blind, apparently had a 20-year loveless marriage, and so surely deserves a little happiness, some say.

How did he get the time, others wonder. Wasn?t he busy fighting Brother Osama? And should he have been messing with a married woman?

As for Fortier, she succumbed to the grand passion, didn?t she? But, hold on, what kind of woman begins an affair within weeks of her marriage (her second, incidentally)?

Blunkett is being investigated for allegedly fast-tracking a visa application by Fortier?s Filipina nanny within three weeks. So what, says Blunkett.

The populace is no longer sure what is morally right and what is wrong. However, the nation, which once ruled the waves, is agreed that it is a dog?s life for Sadie. She happens to be the home secretary?s guide dog.

EASTWARD HO: Tips from Mumbai?s film world

Bollywood buzz

The Daily Mail has devoted a page advising its female readers on how to acquire ?Bollywood beauty?.

Things have come to such a pass in Britain that the word, Bollywood, now extends beyond Mumbai to become synonymous with the kitsch, the exotic and the colourful.

Those aspiring to emulate the beauty of Bollywood girls were encouraged by the Mail to ?be inspired by the spices and colours of India?.

Offered for sale was everything from Coconut Cleanser, ?16, by Comfort & Joy to Lip Shine in Sari, ?13.50, by Fresh; Neem Nail Oil, ?21, Dr Hauschka, used in ayurvedic medicine; eyebrow tweezers, ?19.50, by Shavata, for filmstar-perfect brows; and Indian Gardenia Eau de Parfum, ?15, the Body Shop, a feminine, floral fragrance with a sexy, spicy twist.

It can?t be bad for India?s export-led economy that it is now proving possible to fool all of the English all of the time.

Such is the power of Bollywood that I am sure I would make a killing if I were to throw in some of my own creations, such as, say, Modi freshener, kills all known germs; Bipasha balm, soothes while it excites; and Sourav sweeties, give you everything except runs.

Bahal bunkered

What is the author, Andre Brink, describing in his novel, Before I Forget, when he refers to ?a large exotic mushroom in the fork of a tree, a little pleasure dome if ever I?ve seen one, where Alph the sacred river ran down to the tideless sea??

Suffice to say, several authors, including Brink, are up for this year?s Bad Sex Award.

The other authors on the shortlist include Will Self, Julian Fellowes, Tom Wolfe, Nadeem Aslam and Matt Thorne.

The annual prize, which is handed out by the Literary Review, is for ?the most redundant, embarrassing and clumsily written passage of sexual description in contemporary fiction?.

In bad sex writing, India is not to be left behind. Former Tehelka hero, Aniruddha Bahal, who won last year with Bunker 13, has only a few days of his reign left.

MIND AND MATTER: The cover of B.K.S. Iyengar?s book

Light on yoga

It happened like this. The PR lady asked whether I could telephone B.K.S. Iyengar in his hotel room in Paris at 6 am, when he would be happy to be interviewed.

?6 am??

?Yes, 6 am.?

At 6 am, I apologised profusely to Iyengar for waking him up.

?Don?t worry,? he said, sounding a little out of breath. ?I had gone for my morning run.?

Ever since then, I have had a healthy respect for yoga and its practitioners and keep intending to take it up ? one day.

But which school?

According to the Financial Times, Britain now has an estimated million practitioners and their number is set to grow to four million within three years.

The Financial Times, like any sensible financial newspaper, has a simple philosophy: ?Always follow the money.?

And, without doubt, yoga has become big business. No one better symbolises the hard commercial face of yoga than the Los Angeles-based Bikram Choudhury, who has patented his own brand and franchises 600 studios across the world, including seven in the UK.

Last month, in Hampstead, north London, which is home to some of the capital?s most artistic people, Bikram and his wife, Rajashree, organised ?Europe?s first ever yoga championship?.

The idea apparently is that one day, yoga should become part of the Olympics.

As the FT notes, Bikram is not universally popular. His championship was derided by Jenny Pretor-Pinney, director of the Yoga Place in East London: ?It gives totally the wrong message. Competition feeds the ego. Yoga is supposed to be about reducing the ego.?

London has also just witnessed a Yoga Show at the Olympia exhibition halls in west London.

?Bikram is not the only person making money out of the new vogue for yoga,? says the FT forgivingly. ?Underneath the aroma of incense you can smell the big money. Fashion labels have yoga lines, and Gucci has even produced a yoga mat. Yoga is now used to advertise everything from insurance to beer.?

By and by, there will be Bollywood yoga.

I think India has missed a trick. Just as Pakistan exported hundreds of maulvis with a mission to take over mosques, India should have sent yoga teachers by the shipload.

My own sympathies are revealed by the one and only book on yoga I possess ? B.K.S. Iyengar?s The Illustrated Light on Yoga.

BOWLED OVER: Dev Anand with Khursheed Khurody

Tittle tattle

In Dev Anand?s movie, Mr Prime Minister, which has just been shot in London, Gujarat and Naples, a portrait of the British Prime Minister has pride of place in the hero?s London office.

The plot is ?a satire on Indian political life?, with Blair held up as an example of a ?fine, honest, dynamic, upright, young, energetic politician?.

The Parsee actress, Khursheed Khurody, who plays the hero?s Italian-born wife Rosanne in the film, tells me: ?I had to contact the British High Commission, the British Council but Dev Anand insisted I get the right portrait, which, in the end, I did.?

Blair may not be very popular in Britain but ?I just like him,? explains Dev Anand. ?Although I do not agree with him politically on everything, it is good for Britain to have a young Prime Minister who always puts across his case in a persuasive, intelligent manner. I find him very impressive.?

Should Blair ever tire of Sedgefield, his constituency in County Durham, Devsaab will fix it for him to become the member for Bollywood Central.