Patient: You have forbidden me to climb the stairs because of my heart disease, but my health has worsened!

Doctor: Why?

Patient: Because I can’t climb the stairs, I now climb the pipes to reach the upper floors of my house. That’s really telling on me.

Somrik Banerjee, Class-VII, South Point High School, Calcutta

A man was caught for speeding his car and was taken to the court.

Judge: What will you take, 30 days or Rs 3,000?

Man: I think I’ll take Rs 3,000!!

SHAMBADITYA DAS, Class VIII, St Xavier’s School, Malda, West Bengal

When we celebrated the 100th birthday of my grandmother last week, congratulations poured in. One of the congratulatory telegrams was from her 94-year-old friend. As it was read aloud, grandmother exclaimed, “My goodness, she’s still alive?”

ANUSHREE DEB, Class VII, Kendriya Vidyalaya No. 1, Salt Lake, Calcutta

A naughty boy was trying some tricks while riding a bicycle. First he let go of the hand bars. Then he shouted, “No hands at all!” Then he took off his feet from the pedals and shouted, “No feet at all!” Just after this, the bicycle crashed against a wall and he fell flat on his face. Though he was hurt badly, he shouted, “No teeth at all!”

NIDHI SINGH, Class IV, Caesar School, Mal Bazar, West Bengal

A: Why do ghosts go to the astrologer?

A: Because they want to see their ‘horror-scope’!

KUMAR SOURAV DAS, Class VII, Holy Rock School, Burdwan, West Bengal

A man was driving his car at full speed when the police stopped him.

Police: Why were you driving at such speed?

Driver: Because I don’t want to have an accident and then face the police for it.

RAJARSI SENGUPTA, Class VIII, Nava Nalanda School, Calcutta

Q: How will an elephant come down if it climbs up a tree?

A: It will sit on a leaf and wait for autumn!

DHRUV UTHAPPA, Class II, Army School, Binnaguri, West Bengal

Barun: Did you post the letter I had given you?

Son: No, dad. Barun: Why?

Son: How could I post it? All the post boxes were locked.

NISSAR GOEL, Class VII, St James’ School, Binnaguri, West Bengal

Q: What would a primitive man call a running deer?

A: Fast food!

SAMRAT LAHIRI, Class VIII, St Xavier’s School, Durgapur, West Bengal

Rina: Why are you rolling the magnet over the spinach?

Rani: Because our teacher told that spinach contains a lot of iron.

SUBHRA MAJUMDAR, Class VII, Carmel School, Durgapur, West Bengal