The attitude of an aunt and uncle of mine to money exasperates me. They are very well off but they behave as though they are paupers, at least when it comes to spending any money on themselves. Their children are well settled, and in a different sense, so are they in the house that they bought, post retirement, for themselves. Finally free of all their responsibilities and liabilities, they have more money to spend on themselves than they ever had before. Yet, instead of enjoying this new found financial freedom, they continue to count every penny, and remain obdurate in their refusal to pamper themselves in any way.

It is a different matter when it comes to spending on others. Ask my aunt to buy a sari that she has fallen in love with, and she is adamant that she cannot afford it. But mysteriously, and through some accounting practice that defies logic, she can find twice the amount of money needed to buy a gift for her daughter! It is the same story with my uncle. Suggest that he and my aunt go on a trip to the US to visit their son and an assortment of nephews and nieces, and he expresses horror at the cost of such a venture. However, when it comes to buying tickets for his grandchildren to come out to India on a visit, he has no difficulty in producing the money!

“Oh, that’s different!” they both say when tackled about their illogical behaviour. Different it is, and not just where this uncle and aunt are concerned. Over the years, I find that any number of people after a certain age are subject to the same syndrome. One such person gave me an inkling to the whys and wherefores of this eccentric behaviour.

“When you have a growing family,” she explained, “you have to scrimp and save to meet all their needs and wants. There is an unending stream of bills to be paid - fees, tuitions, clothes? There are holidays, music lessons, tennis lessons and so on. Money has also to be put away for eventual weddings and trousseaux. Every expense is geared to the welfare of the children and at the end of the day there is not much left over to spend on yourself.

“Then suddenly the children have flown the nest. Your responsibilities are over and there is now money to spare. But habit dies hard. By the time this happens, you have lost the art of spending anything on yourself. Conditioned by circumstances to think of spending money on yourself as an unwonted extravagance, it is hard to indulge in it. However, as always, any money spent on the children is justified.”

I wonder whether this is the whole story. Could it be that as you grow older, your wants and desires keep shrinking till the only pleasure that remains is what you can give your children?