Father: Why are you crying Bittu? Bittu: Papa, I got 100 in all the subjects.

Father: That’s excellent! But why are you crying?

Bittu: Our teacher said that zero has no value!

Pratap Das, Class VII, St Francis Elite School, Calcutta

Teacher: Abraham Lincoln had a very tough childhood. He had to walk seven miles to school every day.

Student: Well, he should have got up earlier and caught the school bus like everybody else!

Rohan Shah, Class VI, La Martiniere for Boys, Calcutta

Pammi: Did you know that a private airline company has its headquarter in Ludhiana?

Sana: No. What is it called?

Pammi: Kiththey Paise-phek (Cathay Pacific).

Ankit Jude Kindo, Class VII, Don Bosco, Sevoke Road, Siliguri

Teacher: What is the longest word?

Ravi: Ma’am, it is smile.

Teacher: How can that be?

Ravi: Ma’am, there is a mile after ‘s’!

Priyanka Das, Class III, St John’s School, Barama, Nalbari, Assam

Chandra: What did you write as the past form of ‘think’ in the answer script?

Sourav: I thought and thought but could not remember, so I wrote ‘thank’.

Shivambrata Choudhury, Class IV, M.D.B.D.A.V. Public School, Bankura, West Bengal

Raju, a boastful guide, was showing off.

Raju: This marvellous building was built in a year.

Tourist: Hah! In our city we have a bigger and a far more marvellous building that was built in six months!

(In front of a museum)

Tourist: Raju, what is this building?

Raju: I will have to find out. It wasn’t here in the morning!

Zainab Fazela, Class V, Loreto Convent, Asansol, West Bengal

Teacher: If I have 36 pumpkins in one hand and 50 in the other, then one can safely say that I have...

Student: Two huge hands!

Sreemoyee Bandyopadhyay, Class IV, South Point School, Calcutta

Seema: Did you follow my advice and rinse your hair with beer?

Meeta: Yes, I did.

Seema: Has your dandruff problem subsided?

Meeta: Yes. I now have the happiest dandruff in town!

Arko Pal, Class VIII, Kendriya Vidyalaya, I.I.T. Kharagpur, West Bengal

Teacher: Shyam, if I give you thousand rupees, what will you do with that money?

Shyam: Sir, I will first count the money to make sure that you have given me the promised amount.

Prasanna Lama, Class VIII, P.N.G. School, Gangtok, Sikkim