Patient: Why have you given me a medicine which has expired?

Chemist: Don’t worry. It is only the date that has expired. The medicine is as it is!

Deblina Guha Thakurata, Class V, St Xavier’s Institute, Sodepur, West Bengal

Thief (pointing a gun at a man): Quick, give me your wallet.

Man: Here, take it.

Thief: Ha, ha! There are no bullets in my gun.

Man: Ha, ha! No money in my wallet either!

Ankit Nahar, Class VIII, National High School for Boys, Calcutta

Woman (in panic): Doctor, please come quickly, my husband has high fever.

Doctor: Have you checked his temperature?

Woman: No, but I think it will be 400 or 500 degrees.

Doctor: Then it’s not in my hands. Call the fire brigade.

Neha Roy Choudhury, Class VIII, Kendriya Vidyalaya, Berhampore, West Bengal

Bill: Hi, Jessi. You seem to have changed your hairstyle.

Girl: My name is not Jessi.

Bill: Oh! So you have changed your name too.

Reeti Sarkar, Class VI, Our Lady Queen of the Mission School, Calcutta

Teacher: Do you know what the axis of the earth is?

Student: The axis of the earth is an imaginary line which passes from one pole to the other and on which the world revolves.

Teacher: Very good. Now, tell me can you hang your clothes on this line?

Student: Yes sir, you can.

Teacher: I am so disappointed. I was only joking when I asked you that question. What sort of clothes do you intend to hang on the axis?

Student: Sir, we can always hang imaginary clothes.

Binish Qamar, Class III, St Teresa’s Secondary School, Calcutta

Shiladitya: You are too noisy to bear. This is the last straw.

Arnab: Oh really? Where are the others?

Iman Sadhu, Class VIII, Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan, Calcutta

One day a man went to the theatre...

Man: Please give me half a ticket.

Man at the counter: Why do you want half a ticket? We don’t give any concession to adults.

Man: But I can see only with one eye.

Argha Pande, Class V, Indira Memorial English High School, Calcutta

One day Sunil saw a man sitting beside a dead elephant and crying inconsolably.

Sunil: Why are you crying, uncle?

Man: See this elephant. It has died.

Sunil: How sad. I am so sorry to hear that. Was the elephant your favourite pet?

Man: No. I have to dig its grave. I am the undertaker.

Nissar Goel, Class VIII, St James School, Binnaguri, West Bengal