(From top) Esha Deol-Aftab Shivdasani in Ankahee; Rekha-Amitabh Bachchan in Silsila; Mallika Sherawat-Emraan Hashmi in Murder; and Shah Rukh Khan-Rani Mukherjee in Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna

From “Love is friendship” to “A love that broke all relationships.” Karan Johar has made quite a leap. Who would have thought that because of a Karan Johar film, marital infidelity would become the flavour of the month? With Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna, the candyfloss man explores the other side of the fence. This time round, he moves beyond picture-perfect scenarios into the real world. In this real world, an incompatible spouse doesn’t die conveniently before the marriage can come apart. And your daughter does not have an exceptionally bright future in the business of matrimony. In his earlier films, the nauseating fluorescent colours actually reflected life as black and white. But with his latest magnum opus production, the black and white has blended into a shade of grey that is closer to life.

Earlier, his characters lived in a white zone painted by circumstances, but this time his actor is flawed, the director says. Here, families don’t reunite after a bitter hiatus. Hard feelings exist, grudges live on, forgiveness doesn’t come easy. Here divorce is a reality. But there are also fond memories of happier times, the affection still remains, children still hold estranged spouses together in some way. The broken marriage is still very much a part of them.

And so the characters exist in that grey area where you sometimes feel hatred and sometimes love. And most of the time, you feel a little of both.

Marital discord has always been a hot plot for filmmakers. Every era has its share of films made on the subject. From Hrishikesh Mukherjee’s Abhimaan to Aziz Mirza’s Chalte Chalte, the morning after the wedding reception has been looked at from various angles. There is a plethora of complications to choose from. And infidelity tops the list. Stories of infidelity have found many takers. But making a film that deals with infidelity is like playing with fire. And most filmmakers make sure they’re suitably insulated. Because even though the audiences may well be the inspiration for these tales of betrayal, they are most likely to be outraged at the idea. And so, enter, the role of justification. Because only then can there be redemption for the hero or heroine.

W hen the leading man or the leading lady is indulging in an extramarital affair, the ‘other’ man or the ‘other’ woman is the villain. In Vikram Bhatt’s Ankahee (said to be autobiographical in nature), Esha Deol extracts very little sympathy from the audience even though she is mentally ill. Her demeanour is distinctly bitchy as compared to the perfect wife that Ameesha Patel plays. Uncannily similar in portrayal was Mahesh Bhatt’s Arth. In this somewhat autobiographical tale of betrayal, Smita Patil played to perfection the bad, other woman. In Anurag Basu’s Murder, the other man turns out to be a criminal who won’t hesitate to kill the very woman he is in a relationship with. In Gangster, he shows Emraan Hashmi as the other man who lures Kangana Ranaut into having an affair with him so he can get to her mafia don boyfriend.

This technique very neatly slots characters into black and white. Directors guide the audiences, deciding for them whom they should feel for. The other guy is always a scoundrel, so it’s easy to sympathise with the protagonist. In Aditya Chopra’s Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge the other guy who Kajol was being forced to marry was conveniently an insensitive male chauvinistic pig, and so we felt no sympathy for him even when he was left stranded on his wedding day! Instead we cheered, serves him right!

When the ‘other’ is not a whore, a murderer or a conman, we cannot hate them. And then there needs to be a suitable justification for the unacceptable act of infidelity. An unforgettable first love often proves to be one. Gulzar’s Ijaazat is a story of a marriage gone wrong because Naseeruddin Shah cannot get his first love out of his mind. In Yash Chopra’s Silsila (interestingly autobiographical for the three lead artistes played by the real-life artistes), an extramarital affair seems inevitable when circumstances bring together Amitabh Bachchan and Rekha who were passionately in love before they were forced to get married elsewhere. In the case of a past love coming back into their life, one cannot quite hate the protagonists for weakening.

And when there is no past love, there is loneliness. In Mahesh Manjrekar’s Astitva, Tabu commits an isolated act of infidelity in a state of acute loneliness. She is further justified when it is later revealed that her husband has been unabashedly indulging in regular trips out of the marriage. In Anant Balani’s Jogger’s Park, an older man is driven towards a woman young enough to be his daughter because he feels no connection between his wife and him.

Insensitive spouses who ‘drive’ them into another’s arms have also found place in infidelity stories. In Somnath Sen’s Leela, a hurt Dimple Kapadia finds herself in the arms of a 19-year-old because she discovers her husband has been sleeping with another woman in her house. In Leena Yadav’s Shabd and Raj Kanwar’s Judaai the wrongdoers are literally pushed towards other partners.

And, then, there are happy marriages, which face assault because one partner cheats on the other for no apparent reason. In Shekhar Kapur’s Masoom, Naseeruddin has a dream life — a good job, a beautiful life, two adorable daughters and the bliss of communication. And then he sleeps with an old college friend on one night, has a son with her and his whole life turns upside down. The other woman is not a whore, just plain lonely. It’s not her fault and she finds redemption in death. Naseeruddin pays for it by almost losing his family. But in the end, the marriage wins, all else loses.

Every single film made on infidelity has ended with the defeat of the relationship at best, if not the victory of the institution of marriage. In Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam true love admits defeat in the face of marriage when Aishwarya Rai refuses to go back to her lover. In Nikhil Advani’s Kal Ho Naa Ho, Jaya Bachchan’s husband has a daughter from another woman whom she accepts as her own, but the marriage does not break.

But the bitter truth is that in these modern times, marriages fall apart even before one finishes saying the vows. Many choose to cut their losses and run rather than stick it out. According to neuropsychiatrist Dr Rajesh Parikh of Jaslok Hospital and Research Centre, Mumbai, the modern marriage covers an entire gamut of altered gender roles, satellite relationships, geographical separations and divorce. In most cases, there’s no way one can point a finger at one person and paint the other white. Every side has a defence and it’s usually impossible to judge because when a relationship breaks no one can be 100 per cent wrong or right. Relationship equations have changed radically in society.

In the midst of this, dream merchants like Aditya Chopra and Karan Johar hold out the existence of a Utopia that we can only wish for. Author Shobhaa De, whose book, Spouse: The Truth About Marriage, calls such cheerleading movies “a panic attack,” adding, that they re-emphasise and underline that the family is paramount when actually everything around us is crumbling. What reflects in some other genres is the hint that a grey area exists, but there’s never been an honest acceptance of it. Perhaps that is why films like Aparna Sen’s Mr & Mrs Iyer and Anant Balani’s Jogger’s Park always wind up the affair in a righteous manner. Then there are some others who have made an attempt to be brave about it. Rajat Kapoor’s Mixed Doubles was an unusual take on the modern urban marriage that is far from perfect even though it looks so from outside.

But it is, perhaps, the first time in the history of big budget cinema that an extramarital affair has culminated in a union. The seemingly ‘happy’ ending is laced with a fair share of regret, but it is nonetheless happy. Johar thinks the audiences have evolved, and they’re more willing to accept reality that bites. Considering the big bucks riding on the film, Johar has indeed taken a very bold step by delving into the dark alleys of ambiguity that envelope the modern Indian marriage. No director would have dreamed of portraying his leading lady as a woman who can actually leave a perfectly adorable husband like the one Abhishek Bachchan plays in the film, simply because the passion is missing.

But making films is a lot like handling relationships, we guess. As Shah Rukh Khan recently said on a television show, relationships are lived in the deep dark space that exists between the head and the heart. And you just have to do what you have to do.