Indian children in need

Britain has proposed a solution to ease the problem (obscenity?) of an estimated 11 million abandoned children in India — allowing as many as possible to be adopted by couples who offer them a loving home in the United Kingdom. Few would argue with the notion that instead of having a female foetus aborted, it would be so much more humane to have that girl child brought up in a stable home in Britain. But would that child be “culturally” Indian or British? And does it matter?

I was much taken with “Ashok”, the central character in M.M. Kaye’s The Far Pavilions who suddenly discovers that he is not Indian at all but “Ashton”, an English boy who had been taken in by an Indian ayah whom he had no reason for thinking was anything other than his biological mother.

It would be wonderful to read a novel with a mirror image story — that of an English boy who finds out one fine day that he is, in reality, a fair complexioned Indian.

The chairman of India’s central adoption resources agency, J.K. Mittal, has told his western counterparts that “parents should educate the child about its own background and culture because when they are older they will want to know about India”.

Last week in Mumbai my niece gave birth to a baby boy who will be adored by his parents and his extended family. But not every Indian child is that lucky (last week’s Mumbai papers carried a distressing photograph of a male foetus dumped in a garbage heap). Nevertheless, shipping them to England to have them brought up in an entirely different culture requires careful thought.

Last year, out of the 350 babies imported from abroad into Britain, only between 20 and 30 came from India. And many of them went to relatives settled in the UK. In comparison, Spain allowed in 8,400 children and France 5,000. The Indian government has now agreed to increase the number of children available for adoption to overseas families in Europe and the United States. The time taken to complete the processing may also be cut from more than a year to a maximum wait of 45 days.

“This is fantastic as far as it goes,” enthused Stevan Whitehead of Oasis, an organisation which supports overseas adoption. He believes that Britain is a suitable country because of the presence of the 1.5-million Indian origin population in the UK. “In Hounslow, where I live, there are more Indian festivals than Christian ones,” he said.

It will be inevitable, though, that a few Indian babies will be adopted by celebrities as the latest “must have fashion accessory”, in the way that Madonna and Angelina Jolie have been accused — rightly or wrongly — of doing by their critics.

Who’s next: The SRK poster outside Madame Tussauds

After SRK?

Madame Tussauds has taken the trouble to paint Bollywood style posters on the walls of its museum in Baker Street to publicise its latest attraction. But after Amitabh Bachchan, Aishwarya Rai and now SRK, which Bollywood star should be honoured next with a waxwork model?

Madame Tussauds might launch a poll among Indian cinema fans for there are lobbies supporting the conflicting claims of, among others, Sanjay Dutt, Raj Kapoor and someone like Madhuri Dixit. My tip would be that with the local market in mind, the museum might go for Shilpa Shetty.

Meanwhile, I can assure the “No kissing, please, we’re Indian” brigade that Richard Gere’s encounter with Shilpa did not really amount to a kiss — not in English or American terms, anyway.

For a start, there is a difference between a social kiss, which is popular even among Indian women in Britain and a kiss with a sexual dimension.

The Shilpa-Gere brush clearly did not fall into the second category. The real issue is over tolerance for PDA (public display of affection). In Britain and generally within western society, it is high. Psychiatrists I have consulted state disapproval of PDA is strongest among those who are themselves intensely sexually frustrated — “if I cannot kiss, why should anyone else?”

Kiss but don’t tell: Prince William and Kate Middleton

Kiss me Kate

Talking about kissing, both the young English princes, William and Harry, have allowed themselves to be photographed kissing Kate and Chelsea respectively. No one has moved court over the matter and would be considered a lunatic if he did.

The two brothers are said to have “roving eyes” but neither is in the same league as their uncle, Prince Andrew, who long ago was nicknamed “Randy Andy” by the press.

The fact is that after four years of being together, the end of the romance between William and “Kiss me” Kate Middleton has taken people by surprise. There is a genuine sense of sadness that the couple, who seemed so perfectly matched, have broken up.

No one is more baffled than my old mate, Arthur Edward, royal photographer on the Sun. He went so far as to inform a House of Commons select committee that an engagement was just a matter of time. We tease him that the couple split up to spite his prediction.

Perversely perhaps, what will greatly appreciate in price are the mugs, plates and other memorabilia that have already been manufactured bearing the images of William and Kate. They were going to be released on to the market, as soon as their engagement was announced.

Double take

Top dogs: Nipper and Gromit in the HMV shop front

Wandering past the HMV flagship store in Oxford Street, I remembered reports about the change in logo and walked back to check who was now top dog. HMV has found a compromise solution.

Nipper, the old dog who has served as His Master’s Voice for a century, was still there on the wall by the shop entrance. Alongside, although said to be only temporary to promote children’s DVDs, was Gromit representing the new world order.

But one could soon be snapping at the heels of the other. Which way round “only time will tell” (in the phrase beloved of BBC reporters).

Cannes do

Will Ash come this year to Cannes as she has been doing for the last four years? And if she does, will she bring her new husband? I understand that the Confederation of Indian Industry intends to go big with Cannes this year. “It is the 60th Cannes Film Festival,” I am informed by my CII informant in the dark pinstripe suit. “Which fits in well with the 60th year of (independent) India.”

My tip to CII organisers, if they want to get oodles of publicity, is to cut the number of officials included in the Cannes team but bring plenty of what the paps like to call “talent”.

Tittle tattle

Who is the next senior Indian politician to receive the ultimate intellectual approval from Oxford University after Manmohan Singh? Step forward Kamal Nath.

It will be recalled that the Indian Prime Minister received an honorary degree from Oxford in 2005 — he had done his PhD at Nuffield. The commerce and industry minister isn’t getting an honorary degree — not yet anyway — but my spy in the city of dreaming spires tells me he has accepted an invitation to address Oxford’s Global Economic Governance Programme on May 3.