Teacher: Class, today I want to teach you about how wrong it is to lie. How many of you have read the 25th chapter of your book?

(Nearly everyone raises his hand)

Teacher: Good. You’re the ones I’d like to talk to. You see, there is no 25th chapter.

Saif Afridi, Class IV, St Anne’s Day School, Calcutta

Wife: I have good news and bad news.

Husband: What is it?

Wife: I think I am losing my voice.

Husband: And what’s the bad news?

Shrestha Deb Barman, Class VI, Pratt Memorial School, Calcutta

Ravi was sleeping in the maths class.

Teacher: Ravi, tell me how many feet are there in a yard.

Ravi (sleepily): I think that depends on how many people there are in the yard.

Sneha Das, Class VII, Carmel High School, Calcutta

Raju: God, please make Mumbai the capital of India and Delhi the capital of Maharashtra.

Mother: Why are you wishing for such an impossible thing?

Raju: Because that’s what I wrote in my geography exam.

Pritpal Pannu, Class VIII, D.B. M. S. School, Jamshedpur

Wife: Wherever we keep our money, our son steals it. What do we do? Husband: Keep it in his textbook; he’ll never find it there.

Nayeem Raja, Class VIII, Maria’s Public School, Guwahati

Q: Have you heard what one halogen bulb said to the other?

A: Hello, Jen!

Spandan Mondal, Class VII, Chandannagar Sri Aurobindo Vidyamandir, Chandannagar

Customer: How much do you charge for a haircut?

Barber: Rs 20, sir.

Customer: And a shave?

Barber: Rs 5.

Customer: Then please shave my hair.

Siddhartha Naidu, Class VIII, Dalmiya Vidya Mandir, Orissa

Bunty: Father, I got 100 in the examination.

Father: Very good, son. Let me see the marksheet.

Bunty: See, here it is. I got 25 in English, 35 in maths, 15 in history and 25 in geography.

Madhurima Gupta, Class V, St Claret School, Barrackpore

Father: My shaving brush has become as hard as a piece of wood. How did it happen?

Son: How awful, Dad. It was fine when I painted my bicycle with it last night!

Diptesh Roy, Class VII, Scottish Church Collegiate School, Calcutta

Q: Do you know why the skeleton did not go to the party?

A: Because he had nobody to go with.

Afsha Shaikh, Class VII, Mahadevi Birla Girls School, Calcutta