Call up your boss and say that you are burnt out, therefore dead, and therefore can’t attend office. If he screams at you, scream right back. Use only vowels. They make the most primal sound.

Walk to the nearest barber shop, shave your head and wear a beret. Play drums the whole day. Or you can play the harmonica.

Boys, you can start growing a goatee. Girls, start growing the hair on your eyebrows or upper lips.

Don’t brush your teeth. Don’t take a bath. Don’t change clothes. Grow your own environmental system around you.

Hop into a tram without checking where it’s going. Stay there. On reaching the terminus, hop into another.

Watch Partner at a single-screen theatre, downstairs. Throw some coins at the screen at good ol’ Govinda. (DVDs and television are killing the practice.)

Skip, don’t walk. Sing, don’t speak.

Jump into a puddle.

Make that noise while drawing from the straw.

Wear the black halter-neck dress you have saved up for long — yes, tonight’s the night.

Go to the top floor of your apartment, ring the doorbell of each flat, and start running down. Skip the next floor, ring the doorbell again, keep running. Repeat till you are out of breath and out on the street. A very good form of exercise.

OR

Ring the doorbell of your obnoxious neighbour with whom you have not spoken for five years. As he opens the door, give him a real tight hug, keeping it going for at least a minute. Study the expression on his face. Run.

Don’t take calls on your mobile. Just let it ring. Then see how many missed calls accumulate.

Answer all the spam you get. They should get a taste of their own medicine, which is mostly Viagra. Suppose there is someone called Evan Velez, who keeps offering you the new imp(0)tence tre@tment dr\_/g, which can also be mixed with alcohol without any un_desirable effects. You could answer him. You could write: “Deer Evan, H,,,,,w? /..ng dId you take to invent words like “Se><*” and “errrrectlon”? H,,,ow m/a\;;;y peopppppple do yOuuu write to every dayyyyyyyy? H;;;;;ow m/a\;;;;y peoplllllle write b_a+ck? Does anyone actually buy medicine from a person who spells so badly? Can he be trusted? If you answer all my questions, I will consider giving you my credit card number. If not I shall start sending mail to you every day too.”

Try to walk backwards.

Slam doors. Make that SLAM doors.

Take the lift, even if it means getting to the first floor, even if it means waiting for 15 minutes. Ignore the look in other people’s eyes.

Buy a second treadmill — because there’s a 50 per cent discount. You won’t use either anyway.

Walk into your favourite Italian restaurant and go for the perfect pizza toppings: ham, bacon, chicken, pineapple and extra cheese.

Never fail to dunk the biscuit in your tea. First touch the biscuit to the surface of the tea, then watch it crumble, then dredge it out and lick it off the spoon.

Blow your money on teleshopping offers. Go for the Espresso Bar that makes excellent creamy Espresso or plain coffee/ tea within four minutes at the turn of a knob; the foot massager, designed on the principle of acupressure, the hair-growing lotion, which is the totally natural way to stop hair loss and stimulate hair growth; No-gym, the unique workout system that requires no floor space; the Chi trainer, which doesn’t train the Chi, but is a jogging machine. And the best of them all: an anti-snoring device. The safe, comfortable way to stop snoring.

Call up your mobile service provider and tell them what exactly you think of them and their English.

Dig out the stuffing from old sofas with your index finger when no one is looking.

Throw out your copy of A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking. You bought it 10 years back; you will never read it. You are not really interested.

Find out how people use truffle.

Try to remember your last dream. Try to really figure out whether you dreamt in colour or not.

Listen to Baz Luhrman’s Sunscreen Song, the only piece of sound advice available on the Net. “Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’97,” he goes, “Wear sunscreen./ If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it./ The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists,/whereas the rest of my advice has no basis/more reliable than my own meandering experience./ I will dispense this advice now./ Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth…, You are not as fat as you imagine…. Don’t worry about the future./ Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective/ as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum./ Do one thing every day that scares you…”And so on and so forth — and promise to abide by them.

Try to make the perfect orange souffle. If it caves in, forget it. Order ice cream — and wonder whoever invented the Just Because Day, except for e-card sellers and online florists. Are things really so bad that we need to dedicate a day to this?

What would you like to do ‘Just Because’? Tell t2@abpmail.com