llustration: Uday Deb

‘Well’ done

UTTARA sits at the table, takes out her books and pen and begins to work. APU wanders about moodily, then takes his satchel off the sofa, flings it on the floor, climbs on the sofa and begins to jump up and down.

UTTARA: Stop it.

APU: Stop it.

UTTARA: Apu! You’ll hurt yourself.

APU: You’ll hurt yourself.

UTTARA: Shut up.

APU: You shut up.

UTTARA: (with an effort) I shall be very very quiet and do my homework.

APU: Do my homework.

UTTARA: That’s right.

APU: That’s right.

APU realises he has been outwitted. He gets off the sofa, picks up his satchel from where he had flung it on the floor, takes out some books and sits at the table opposite UTTARA.

Pause

APU: (loudly) We must all live in a well... We must all live in a well... We must all...

UTTARA: Apu! You are supposed to be doing your homework.

APU: I am studying for my Socials test tomorrow.

UTTARA: Social Science.

APU: In my class we say Socials. Teacher also says Socials. She says...

UTTARA: All right. All right. But please study quietly.

APU: (whispering) We must all live in a well... We must all live in a...

UTTARA: What?

APU: Ssh. Don’t shout. Can’t you see I’m studying for my Socials? (whispering) We must all live in a well... We must all...

UTTARA: Apu, we must all live in a... what?

APU: Ssh. I’m studying very hard. (mouthing the words) We must all live in a well... We must all live in a well... We must all...

UTTARA: Apu, what are you doing, can you tell me?

APU: Studying! You can’t make out or what?

UTTARA: Studying what, for goodness sake?

APU: I told you, Socials.

UTTARA: I mean, what are you saying? What are you repeating? What are you chanting?

APU: Oh that! I am by hearting.

UTTARA: What are you by... I mean learning by heart?

APU: A very important thing. We must all live in a well.

UTTARA: Live in a… what did you say?

APU: We must all live in a well.

UTTARA: What nonsense! Who told you that?

APU: Teacher.

UTTARA: I can’t believe this. Let me see your book.

APU: No.

UTTARA: Oh come on Apu. I just want to see what you’ve written.

APU: I have written what Teacher said.

UTTARA: And Teacher has said we must all live in a well?

Pause.

UTTARA: Is that what Teacher has said? We must all live in a well?

APU: Yes.

Pause.

UTTARA: Is that all Teacher said? Or did she say something more?

APU: She said a big word after that.

UTTARA: And then?

APU: Then she wrote it on the board.

UTTARA: What is the big word? Can you spell it for me?

APU: (slowly) V...E...N...T...I...L...

UTTARA: Ah! Got it. Ventilated. We must all live in a well-ventilated...

APU: ...house.

UTTARA: Right. We must all live in a well-ventilated house. A well-ventilated house... Phew! Thank goodness. For a moment I thought... Anyway, do you know what that sentence means?

APU: Yes. Teacher said it means we must live in a house with lots of windows and doors so we can get fresh air.

UTTARA: That’s right. Very good. I really got worried. I thought your Teachher wanted us all to live in a well.

APU: In a dark well.

UTTARA: No light.

APU: No air.

UTTARA: Deep down.

APU: With monsters. With big teeth that go chomp chomp...

Pause.

APU drops his book, runs to UTTARA and hides his face on her shoulder.

UTTARA: (gently) There are no monsters in a well, Apu. Only frogs.

Pause.

UTTARA: Come on Apu. You are a brave boy, aren’t you? And anyway, we don’t live in a well. See. We live in a house, a well-ventilated house. With doors and windows.

APU: No monsters?

UTTARA: Not a single monster.

APU: Promise?

UTTARA: Promise.

Pause.

To be continued.

From Good Heavens!
One-Act Plays for Children;
By Poile Sengupta;
Publisher: Puffin