Homework ’n’ cricket

APU walks to the sofa.

APU: Why haven’t they come home yet?

UTTARA: They will come home as soon as their work is over.

APU: When will their work get over?

UTTARA: Are you hungry, Apu? Will you have dinner?

APU: Why did they go? I hate them. I hate them.

UTTARA: Apu!

APU: I hate them.

UTTARA: Apu. Listen. Mummy and Daddy had to go because... because Aunty Saras had to go to hospital.

APU: To have her baby?

UTTARA: My goodness! You knew that? Who told you?

APU: Aunty Saras. She said that I will soon have a little cousin brother or sister to play with. Oh, so that is why Mummy and Daddy have gone. Then, I’m not scared. You could have told me earlier.

UTTARA: I’m sorry. I should have...

APU: I have finished studying. Can I play some cricket now?

UTTARA: If you like. But don’t slice my head off.

APU: As if.

APU exits through the inner door while UTTARA goes back to her books smiling to herself. APU enters with a cricket bat, wearing a cap.

APU: Don’t be scared, okay Uttara. I’m only going to practice some strokes.

UTTARA: And who, pray, gave you the permission to use my name?

APU: I gave myself.

UTTARA: I see.

APU: Yes. Now that I am going to be a big brother, I can’t keep calling you Didi, can I?

UTTARA: Oh! I see.

APU: The baby is going to call me big brother, you know.

Pause.

UTTARA: Oh! And what will the baby call me?

APU: I don’t know. You ask the baby that. Now please do your studies Uttara. I am going to do my practice.

UTTARA: Right big brother.

APU: Oh no. I am not your big brother. I am the baby's big brother.

UTTARA: Sorry little brother.

APU: That’s all right.

APU takes a batsman’s stance downstage and practises cricket strokes. UTTARA returns to her books. APU begins to mutter a cricket commentary and gets more and more carried away.

APU: Apu takes his guard at the wicket and looks up at the bowler. The crowd is very quiet now and the fielders are watching closely. The only person who can save the match is Apu. The bowler walks back to his mark, he turns and comes running in. It is a fast, short-pitched ball. Apu steps onto the back foot to hook the ball and the crowd...

APU is by this time close to UTTARA’s chair and as he lifts his bat nearly hits her.

UTTARA: Apu! I told you to be careful. You nearly hit me.

APU: I didn’t. I was being careful.

UTTARA: No, you weren’t. Now will you please... goodness. Look at the time. We better have dinner.

APU: Not hungry.

UTTARA: Oh Apu... Don’t be difficult. Put away the bat and go and wash your hands, I’ll clear the table.

APU: Don’t want dinner.

Pause.

UTTARA: So that’s what you’ll teach the baby also? Not to have dinner?

Pause.

APU: I’ll go and wash my hands.

UTTARA: Take your books from the table first. And do please tidy the room. What will Mummy and Daddy say when they come home?

APU: They’ll say, ‘Apu, the baby wants to see you.’

UTTARA: (laughing) As if!

APU: As if yourself.

UTTARA makes a gesture of spanking APU. He darts behind the sofa. UTTARA laughs.

UTTARA: All right little big brother. We’ll see what the baby says, okay? Don’t be disappointed, that’s all... I’ll get the dinner.

As UTTARA exits, APU picks up his satchel and puts it on top of the other satchel on the chair. He then crosses to the table, picks up the books and puts them on top of the satchels.

UTTARA: (off) Apu, if you’ve finished, come and wash your hands.

APU: Not finished.