How would you say today’s men view successful women?

I think the urban man has come around to viewing a woman as his equal. When you love somebody, you should put aside your (male) ego.

Have you ever faced male envy or resentment because of your success?

It is difficult for people to handle it but I love all aspects of cinema. I am very passionate about my work and whoever comes into my life has to know that. I would want my man to take pride in my work.

What if your man disapproves of a revealing outfit you wear on-screen?

If he convinces me that it is looking undignified, I will not wear it. But you can’t impose your decision on me. I am a thinking person. I would definitely weigh the pros and cons.

How much is your view of men influenced by the way you view your dad?

Very much; I think every woman wants a husband like her father.

What are the qualities you like about your father?

He has emotional strength and can be very loving. A strict disciplinarian, he has encouraged me to grow into a thinking person. He has made me understand that when you take decisions in life, you have to assume responsibility for the results too.

What kind of relationship do you share with your brother?

He is still young. He is learning to be a man and I love to see that about him.

When did you become aware of the male gaze?

In my teens. I thought I was a boy till 13. I was a tomboy who would climb trees and regularly scratch my knees. Most of my friends were guys. When I was around 13, guys started telling me that I was reasonably good looking. I began to comb my hair and dress better as the realisation that I was a girl sank in.

Who taught you to deal with male attention?

I am a very family person; I learnt a lot from my mom, my maasis, my naani. But finally, a lot of course was from my own mistakes. A word of caution: to learn from others mistakes is better than making your own.

Do you think men are a complex species?

I think men are like children. They throw tantrums. You have to be very patient with them. For the outside world, he may be a lion; but in front of a woman he is child-like and vulnerable. You have to treat them with kid gloves though sometimes you need to give them a reality check.

If a man raises his hand on you would you forgive him?

No. I would never slap a man, either.

Some men claim that women provoke them or nag them too much.

Not true. Men nag much more than women.

Have you ever told a male director that a woman wouldn’t react the way he has conceived a scene?

I give my vishesh tippanee (expert comments) all the time.

Do you think women have finally come of age in Bollywood?

I think it has always been the woman’s age, it is just that we didn’t know how to express it earlier. I love chivalry. But, like all educated women, I am aware that I can make a difference to my own life.

How does a heroine prepare herself to thwart unwanted male attention?

For one, she has an inherent (self-preservation) instinct that comes into play from a very early age. Also, educating a girl child gives her the power to defend herself, to distinguish between the right and wrong.

When Shah Rukh played an obsessed lover in Darr, he was still said to be a hero. But in Aitraaz, when you played a woman obsessed with a man, you were perceived as a vamp. Is this gender bias a reflection of dominant male perspective?

I don’t think it was gender that influenced the perception, it was the characterisation that made all the difference. In Darr, Shah Rukh’s character loved Juhi so much, he wanted to marry her at all cost. My character in Aitraaz wasn’t driven by love, she was motivated by ego. I felt sorry for Shah Rukh’s character in Darr because he had a sad childhood.

But, by and large, are ambitious women viewed in a dubious light?

I define ambitious as being successful in one’s field without compromising on one’s values. And I see nothing wrong in that.