Day in the nuclear House

Why was the parliamentary debate on the Indo-US nuclear deal kept on hold for so long? So that the MPs got more time to learn their notes on the 123 Agreement and the Hyde Act. The debate did happen finally, albeit without the sharp repartees and verbal volleys that one expects from a discussion of such importance. But then, great parliamentary oratory is a thing of the past, this is the age of text messages. The debate was not without its moments, though. For one, Rajya Sabha MP, Bimal Jalan, got mightily upset at Ram Jethmalani being allowed to speak ahead of him. To make matters worse, Jethmalani just wouldn’t wind up (and, of course, the nuke deal was only one of the issues he was covering) — provoking Jalan to get up, shake his head vigorously and tell the chair, “My name was ahead of Ram Jethmalani. I am not going to speak in this House. No. Never.” Yet another gentleman who ruffled a few feathers by launching a tirade against the Marxists on the Nandigram issue was Trinamul Congress’s Dinesh Trivedi. When asked what could possibly be in common between Nandigram and the nuke deal, he smartly replied, “The letter ‘N’”. But the ‘scapegoat of the day’ award would easily go to Kapil Sibal. The ace lawyer and Congress spokesman looked quite tongue-tied when Abani Roy of the RSP alleged that Sibal was “hiding something behind the Hyde Act”. But a far more dashing put-down was waiting for Sibal when he tried to explain that the Hyde Act was only advisory in nature and not at all binding on the US president. Before he could finish, the BJP chief whip, SS Ahluwalia, remarked, “Just as Sonia Gandhi’s words to the government are advisory, but you treat them as orders, isn’t it?” Madam’s response to the exchange is not known.

Read it aloud

Still on the same debate. It sometimes took the form of a story-reading session in school, with hon’ble parliamentarians reading out from prepared speeches. (Did someone say that ordinary members were not allowed to read from prepared texts in parliament?) In India, as everyone knows, rules are for the rulebook, and most of our ‘readers’ were making their maiden speeches in the House, so how dare anyone mention rules? DMK chief M Karunanidhi’s dear daughter and new MP, Kanimozhi, led the way, hardly taking her eyes off the text. She was followed soon by Sharad Pawar’s daughter, Supriya Sule. Near the end of the day, yet another political heir, Naresh Gujral, the son of former PM IK Gujral, got up and made his opinions known, holding his text. The text happened to be rather long. But when the presiding officer asked Gujral to cut it short, the Akali Dal MP sought accommodation on the ground that he was making his maiden speech. Speechless-making?

Homeward bound

This is the season for migratory birds to return home. Prominent among the ‘home’-ward bound are K Karunakaran, K Natwar Singh and Madanlal Khurana. Karunakaran’s case is quite favourably poised, thanks to his legendary loyalty to the Nehru-Gandhi family. The only thorn in his flesh might be the Kerala Congress chief, Ramesh Chennithala, whose chief ministerial hopes could well be dashed by the old man. Natwar Singh has stopped short of crying on every Congress leader’s shoulder for a ‘comeback’ berth, but the resolute silence from 10 Janpath is worrying. Khurana, the BJP rebel, known far and wide for being a chronic patient of the foot-in-the-mouth disease, is seen visiting party leaders quite frequently these days. He has even called on his junior and rival, VK Malhotra, so his desperation is no longer a secret. The good news is that, like Karunakaran, Khurana’s chances are bright too. What will happen to poor Natwar Singh? He is a royal too. Maybe the Congress should grant him a privy purse from the party funds?

Neither here, nor there

Call it the Congress’s sense of humour, but the dark joke is on the party’s Muslim leaders. A number of them were heard complaining that they were not being allowed to campaign in Gujarat. It was promptly suggested that they lend their services to another poll-bound state, Himachal Pradesh. There was one little problem. There were no Muslim candidates in the party’s list for the state, in continuation of a 60-year-old tradition. Some of the minority leaders are heard to have caught a cold and therefore unable to go.

Entertainment address

Rajiv Shukla is a popular man in parliament, what with his BCCI designation and friendship with Shah Rukh Khan. At any given point of time, Shukla can be found surrounded by MPs who either want complementary passes to cricket matches, or a photo-op with SRK. Shukla never says no. With this kind of popularity, his new venture, BAG films, should be a roaring success.

Evasion is a lot of hard work

Could it be mere coincidence that Salman Khan has managed not to bump into his ex-flame, Aishwarya Rai, even once after she became Mrs Abhishek Bachchan? Given the efforts of event-organizers to bring warring stars to the same show and grab more eyeballs, the movement of Salman and Mrs Bachchan in mutually exclusive circles is remarkable indeed. But film industry insiders attribute it to Salman’s masterful evasion strategy — which includes the placing of informers at public events, marriages and private parties. The modus operandi is simple. Salman’s favourite bodyguard, Shera, arrives early at events and keeps the star informed about arrivals and departures. The guest list is also checked to see whether it contains people Salman hates or wants to avoid. And there are quite a few such people — the Bachchans, Akshay Kumar, John Abraham, Shahid Kapur....Does Salman get to attend any parties at all?