Run!” yelled the dog. “Disappear!” screamed the hen.“Vanish! Tsunami is coming,” shouted the cow.

Wait! This is not a story about the Tsunami the killer wave that killed thousands and made millions homeless. This is a tale about Tsunami the terror — a pig who lorded over a farmhouse.

Bhola, the owner of the farmhouse, was a mild mannered man who was reasonably prosperous. In his farm lived Jim the mongrel, Pyaari the hen, Vivek the cock, Khushi the cow and of course their undisputed leader, Tsunami the pig.

Bhola was very fond of Tsunami. She reminded him of his wife Sumanti. She (Tsunami) had the same thick, leathery skin, the dull eyes, the snout of a nose and the same enchanting waddle. When Sumanti (or Tsunami) walked it looked as if a dung heap had suddenly woken up and decided to take a stroll. And what made the similarity between Tsunami and Sumanti even more uncanny was that the former had been born the same day, hour and minute when the latter had breathed her last.

It had happened like this:

There was a competition organised by the local ladies club — it was called the ‘Pani Puri Marathon’. The lady who could eat the maximum pani puris would be crowned the Pani Puri Pari and would be supplied free pani puris by Chawanni Chatwala for three years on the trot. Sumanti had gobbled up 111 pani puris leaving her closest rival Sweety Chaddha (67 pani puris) far, far behind. As she introduced the 112th pani puri into her gaping mouth she had a huge coughing fit and collapsed on the floor. By the time the doctor was summoned it was already too late. The verdict was terse — she had choked on a pani puri and died — the first human being in the history of human civilisation to do so.

While Sumanti was choking and taking her last breath, little Tsunami was taking her first. Naturally Bhola, who had been desperately in love with Sumanti, felt Tsunami was the reincarnation of his beloved wife.

As Tsunami gathered years and bulk, Bhola’s belief was confirmed. Not only in physical appearance, even in demeanour and habits Tsunami seemed a Xerox copy of his wife. Like Sumanti, Tsunami too was a bully — arrogant, selfish and totally preoccupied with herself.

The other farm animals were totally terrified of her. She lorded over them and no one dared to disobey her. Tsunami’s mornings began with an elaborate breakfast in which all the animals contributed their share. Even though Bhola gave her whatever she wanted she was never satisfied unless the other animals chipped in with their contribution. As a result Pyaari, as she liked to be called, gave two of her best eggs, Jim scraps of the juiciest meat and Khushi a jug full of the creamiest milk. Since Vivek didn’t have anything to give he sang for her. He had the best voice in town and he sang to the accompaniment of subtle musical notes such as licks, gurgles, gobbles and slurps produced by Tsunami as she demolished the morning offering.

In the afternoon, after a heavy lunch, Tsunami would take a siesta while the other animals stood on guard lest someone or something disturbed her tiddly-winks. Between lunch and dinner she would have a few snacks followed by a heavy meal and heavier sleep.

To be Continued