Imran and Jemima

l Don’t hold on to that feeling of a thousand things boiling inside you. Pour it out. Your ex might have done the dirty on you, cheated, had a thing for your best friend or was plain boring and insensitive. He or she could be any one or all of these. Call him a b****** or a b**** and a loser. Hiss “maa ki…” though he is unlikely to be an Aussie. Remember the scene where Shahid makes Kareena call her boyfriend and vent her rage in Jab We Met? It helped. But once you have said it, don’t repeat those words when you meet the ex. However much you have the urge to swat him like a fly, be civil. Inside, too. Imran said a polite “Hi” to Jemima when they met in front of 10 Downing Street recently, an insider says.

Know your endurance level before you think of going out together in a group with your current and your ex’s current. Will Imran be able to go out with Jemima and company? Would Jemima be able to go out with Hugh Grant and company? Would Hugh Grant be able to go out with Liz Hurley and company? Yes, he would be, but we don’t know about the rest. You have to be tough, very tough. Or else you may end up repeating you are “very comfortable” like Mallika Sherawat and Rahul Bose in Pyar ke Side Effects, but keep casting withering looks at your ex’s current.

Do not flaunt your current. Behave. It shows a hidden wish to show off — but shows that you still wish to be with your ex. Your current will be quick to get it. You will have two exs.

Do not ram your car in to your ex’s, or create trouble at the set where your ex is shooting. You shall not be invited to her wedding. Salman Khan stormed into the Mumbai set where his ex Aishwarya Rai was shooting for Kuch Naa Kaho, a film co-starring Abhishek Bachchan. Salman was not invited to Ash’s wedding. (But neither was Hrithik Roshan.)

Remember his or her birthday. Wish him or her. If the ex slams down the phone, don’t repeat it next year. If the exchange is civil, carry on. After all, the ex was a good friend. No point losing a friend.

Don’t shun common friends. They will take sides after the break up. Some will speak on your behalf, some for the ex. Accept it. Also, your break-up will come up again and again in your conversations with the friends. At least, there will be an expectation from your friends’ side. But good friends will finally stick to you — and the ex too. Hugh Grant was asked to be the best man at Liz Hurley’s wedding — and many common friends were invited.

Continue with common passions. Do not give them up because of memories or the chance that he or she will turn up at the same event. Liz Hurley continued with her men and Hugh Grant continued with the one role that he can play — the decent London bloke.

And whatever you do, don’t badmouth your ex. It always gets back to him or her.

But do all this only if you want to be friends with your ex at all. For the sceptic says that really never happens!