Dear Mr Go,

Here is my submission for the plot and characters of an Indian Mills and Boon. I have read M&B all my life. Since reading your announcement about this project, I have studied the instructions to authors with care and know which physiognomical indices serve the genre best and that the works must be written with passion. I have also noted the page on which my heroine will receive a chaste kiss for the first time. I hope you will take me on board as a regular Mills and Boon writer. The plot will unfold through the descriptions of the characters. As you are already learning Hindi, a glossary of Indian words will not be necessary for you, and you will be familiar with urban Indian expressions like the -ji suffix attached to English forms of address.

Ria, the heroine, stands gracefully beside the pond at Victoria Memorial. The sunshine colour of her salwar kameez vies with the yellow canna flowers alongside the pond. She has an open friendly expression on her face: it suggests she does not have a mean bone in her body. Her face looks ready to burst into a radiant smile at any moment. Her silky, squeaky-clean hair appears to be involved in a pleasant flirtation with the tropical southern breeze. Someone’s pet dog comes bounding up and she plays briefly with it. Another person’s child addresses her as “Auntyji” and she produces a pencil for her from a totebag and sings a song with her in a sweet, tuneful voice.

She is shy but anyone who comes close will surely appreciate her innocent charms. She wears almost no makeup. She buys garlands of juhiphul from a roadside vendor and buries her face in their heady scent with obvious joy...before she braids them into her hair, i.e. the simple things of life please her.

The hero, Ritesh, is aristocratic, tall, powerful-looking, macho and an NRI. He has a dark embittered look. Later it will transpire that his wife eloped with his younger, footloose brother. He has a scar across his rugged cheek that seems to reflect his varying moods. It looks red and angry when he is angry and is almost invisible when he smiles. He smiles rarely, but his face lights up when he does. He never seems to ‘say’ anything. He “imparts it wryly”. His clothes are a perfect elegant fit. He wears them with effortless ease, whether kurta pyjama or custom-made Western wear. The hero has been away for a long time in foreign climes. He has an ageing mother and a sulky child in tow. The mother knows she is dying of cancer and longs to see him happy. He can hardly bear to look at the child of the bad brother with whom his beautiful wife had eloped. The parents of the child have since died in a plane crash. The child lives with her grandmother and is badly in need of love and understanding. He ‘finds Ria’s mouth’ on p.43. Ria will bring them both back to love, life and happiness and make them forget their earlier embittered existence. But the hero’s mother will die in Ria’s arms telling her to love her son always and give him the joy he so deserves

The bad girl is Saloni who tries to snatch the hero — only interested in him for obvious reasons like his wealth and power and his rugged good looks. She is hyper-elegant in her designer clothes but mean-looking. She has slit eyes, and hair and complexion that obviously see the inside of a beauty parlour far too often. She has very long and sharp fingernails, painted an electric purple. She also has a long snooty nose. She kicks out at a puppy who comes near her. “Go away shoo!” she says to the hero’s niece: “I am not your auntyji!” “I’ll slap you if you come near me again. Shit! The brat has ruined my new dress from the Cardin store.” Of course, she is careful to do all this behind the hero’s back.

There will be a further complication in the shape of Himesh. He is an old friend from Ria’s college who has hitherto always been around her. She has always told him that while she is fond of him, he doesn’t touch her heart in “that” way. He is like a brother although he has steadfastly refused rakhis and tikas from her over the years. He is pleasant enough, but clumsy and inelegant. His clothes always look as if they came from a second-hand store — they are often garish. His ears stick out too much. His nose is much too large. He is short and stocky, tending to fat, laughs much too loudly. Since the beginning of her initially hostile relationship with the NRI and his family, he has become possessive about her in an ugly way. He frequently threatens suicide, sometimes threatens to kill Ritesh… In general, he refuses to accept that Ria rejects him. He kidnaps the little girl and only then do Ria and Ritesh realize how much they love her and each other.

The last chapter will be the glorious wedding scene. The little girl will be a prominent happy figure in the joyous ceremony and Ria’s mother will look after her during the honeymoon.

Sir, I do hope you like the story outlined above. I would appreciate an early decision about whether you accept it as a pioneer piece in the Indian M&B series. I would like it to be considered for the simple M&B as the steamy X-tra-sensual ones do not appeal to me.

Thanking you,

Yours truly,

XYZ

P.S. I have written the above in a mood of total sincerity. However, as I write in the conversations, my heroine sometimes breaks out of my control and makes some strange remarks. They are of the following kind:

“Strange how elegant and expensive is good for the hero but not for the bad girl. And I wish he would get plastic surgery done on that ridiculous scar.”

“Strange how both my suitors have names ending in ‘esh’.”

“I love your dog; the little girl is sweet, your mum is nice but your relationship with her is somewhat oedipal. And you are so self-absorbed, I’d feel obliged if you took a hike.”

“How did you ‘find my mouth’? How did you know where to look?”

“I actually like the man with some feminine virtues. Can’t abide by these strong silent macho types.”

“Dear Himesh and Ritesh, neither of you will find me at this address or email ID or on this mobile number any longer. I have eloped with a stem cell.”

I hope you will delete them wherever necessary.