When you start off on a job together — six trainees, say, on the lowest rung of the corporate ladder — proximity inevitably results in camaraderie. Of course, it is possible to develop dislikes too, a hatred that could continue throughout your working life. But most of the time it’s friendships that blossom. In a large organisation, people tend to move out into different departments, cities and even countries. There is also the normal attrition. But in smaller companies, a problem starts arising sooner or later. What do you do when you are promoted over your peers?

One day you are busy organising office outings, advising your mates on domestic problems and letting down your hair together. The next, you are the boss. “Most of the time people around you will welcome your promotion,” says Mumbai-based HR consultant D. Singh. “But that doesn’t mean they like it. There’s a time bomb waiting to explode.”

“Striking up friendships with colleagues is easy: We spend most of our waking hours on the job, so it’s natural to bond with those who share our schedules and professional interests,” says Cynthia Hansen, a writer on career strategies. “It’s supervising those friends that’s difficult... That’s because the situation shifts the balance of power in the group, creating tension and discomfort all around.”

As the person who has been promoted, what can you do about it? You must remember, first, that your bosses must have had a very good reason for giving you the job (assuming, of course, that you are not married to the chairman’s daughter). You have to prove that you deserve the faith they have reposed in you.

Hansen has a checklist of things you should do:

Embrace change. You can be friendly. You can be humane. You can be respectful. But, in the end, you cannot be their best friend.

Socialise equitably. Don’t stop having lunch with your friends, but don’t go out with them exclusively or it will be perceived as favouritism.

Build goodwill. Publicly acknowledge your friend’s recent accomplishment or give her a task that will allow her to shine.

Expect a backlash, but don’t take it personally.

Acknowledge strengths and weaknesses. Admit what you don’t know.

Treat your friends like insiders. Without breaking confidences, keep your friends informed about what’s going on in the organisation.

Stay humble. If former peers sense that you feel you’re better than they are, the relationships may be irreparably damaged.

What do you do when you are at the other end of the equation — when your peer has been promoted over you? The first option, of course, is to put in your papers. But that’s easier said than done. You may have a lot of other responsibilities — particularly domestic ones — that make this difficult.

You can also go to the company’s HR department or the person who has taken the promotion decision and get to the reason for the move. What could stop you from taking this step is one question: If your company is as good in HR as you think it is, shouldn’t they have spoken to you earlier and explained the situation?

Perhaps, there are some home truths you may not want to hear.

The last option is to simply accept it. But decide that it won’t happen again; it’s probably your fault that it has. Put that extra bit into your work. Join that part-time management course.

Remember that it could be even worse next time: It may be your junior who gets promoted over you. And that will label you firmly as a corporate has-been.

PEER PRESSURE

The pitfalls to avoid when you are promoted and put in charge of a team of your former peers

• Beware the two extremes. New managers often fall into one of two categories: Overbearing and power happy or unable to take decisions for fear of losing the friendship of the former peers they now manage.

• Strengthen your credibility. As a new manager, you need to fully understand senior management’s expectations of you — and your team as a whole.

• Align your expectations with those of your team. It is imperative to understand your team members’ needs and to help them realise their unique contributions to the team.

• Establish a support network. One area new managers often overlook is establishing a strong network of mentors and coaches who can provide strategies, support, and inspiration needed to succeed.

• Realise that mistakes are okay. Everyone makes mistakes, especially in those first few months. But, that’s okay.

(Source: Adapted from Managing your former peers takes extra effort, by Elizabeth Garone.)