Media king: Rupert Murdoch

What next for Indian rich?

Following Tata’s acquisition of, first, Corus Steel, and, second, Jaguar and Land Rover, it is natural to ask where Indians with a rupee or two to spare, should invest next in Britain?

My advice would be one word: media.

The British national newspapers and television networks, along with their American counterparts, still determine international perceptions of our value systems to a remarkable degree. To be sure, the Australian Rupert Murdoch is interested in making as much money as possible but it is unlikely he would be able to walk into 10, Downing Street, if he did not own The Sun, The Times, The Sunday Times, The News of the World along with BSkyB.

So long as India, as an emerging global power, does not have the equivalent of the BBC, it will always have to depend on foreign media to put across its point of view.

The trick is to learn from the BBC — to project British propaganda while appearing to be severely critical, at times, of Britain and the British government. Then the world believes everything good it says about Britain — and there is indeed much to say about Britain that is good.

Indians, led by Lakshmi Mittal, who is ranked number one as expected with £27.7 billion, figured prominently in last week’s Sunday Times Rich List. The chief compiler, Philip Beresford, who has a high opinion of Indians — I know because he was the one who encouraged me to do the first Asian Rich List when we were colleagues back in 1990 on the Sunday Times — has a separate box on the top 10 Asians.

With the exception of Mittal, who arrived in London from Jakarta in 1995, many of the other names are familiar — for example, the Hindujas (no. 4 with £6.2billion) and Swraj Paul (no. 47 with £1.5 billion).

One notices new names: they include Anil Agarwal, of mining group Vedanta Resources (no. 23 with £2.45 billion); Naresh Goyal, founder of Jet Airways who lives part of the year in London (no. 206 with £420 million — only Indians will be amused by the latter figure); Ramesh and Pratibha Sachdev, who have made money out of nursing homes, (no. 214 with £400 million); and Vodafone’s chief executive, Arun Sarin (no. 1259 with £60 million).

The 20 fastest growing fortunes list Anurag Dikshit, who started the online poker site, Party Gaming (no. 94 with £812million).

I won’t name names, but according to my First Law of Giving, the generosity of rich Indians is inversely proportional to their wealth. Also, money has not yet translated into political influence. Hence, there is the need to go into the media.

Constant companion: Karan Bilimoria with his Mercedes

Karan’s car

Karan Bilimoria is getting almost as famous as the other Karan — I mean Karan Johar, of course. The former is a new entrant in this year’s Sunday Times Rich List, ranked 1181, with personal assets of £68million.

Unlike other rich Indian businessmen in Britain, Karan, who founded Cobra Beer in 1989, does not feel the need to impress by changing a top of the range Mercedes or Bentley every couple of years.

“I still drive an 11-year-old Mercedes coupe,” he reveals. “I bought it just before my eldest son was born. I have driven every one of my four children home from the hospital in that car.”

Lord (Karan Faridoon) Bilimoria is proud to be the first Parsi in the House of Lords, an honour that eluded even the great Dadabhai Naoroji.

Me too! Hanif Kureishi with his family

Hurray for Hanif

Once, the empire rendered Indian Maharajahs “loyal” by giving them baubles of one sort or another. Today, the British state attempts to defang obstreperous writers by making them members of the Establishment.

For example, Salman Rushdie, having been given a knighthood much to the fury of many Muslims in Britain, Iran and elsewhere, has become Sir Salman Rushdie.

And now, Hanif Kureishi, who was previously admired as a scourge of the Establishment, has made the journey to Buckingham Palace, accompanied by his wife, Monique, and their children (from past relationships), Kier, Sachin and Carlo, to collect a CBE from the Queen as reward for his “services to literature and drama”.

The prolific 53-year-old author of The Buddha of Suburbia and The Black Album and such screenplays as Sammy and Rosie Get Laid, My Beautiful Laundrette and My Son the Fanatic had never probably imagined he would one day stand respectfully to attention while the Queen embraced him, metaphorically speaking, as a Commander of the British Empire.

Hanif — he is the son of an Indian father whose family had moved to Pakistan after partition and an English mother, Audrey — has written about how he suffered racism while growing up in Bromley, south London.

In a sentimental aside, he recalled his late father, Rafiushan, who worked as a lowly official at the Pakistan High Commission without ever fulfilling his ambition of getting one of his manuscripts published: “My father, an Indian immigrant, would be really proud that one of our chaps got so far. I’m really proud, it’s fantastic.”

Hanif had the good humour to express the hope Her Majesty “had had no contact whatsoever” with one of his novels.

The Queen might well be tempted to take back the CBE if she were unwise enough to read Hanif’s Intimacy, for example, and discover the unorthodox use to which Jay, the novel’s narrator, puts his unloved wife’s knickers just before he leaves her.

One Lent some years ago, while others offered to sacrifice chocolate for Easter, Hanif said he would give up French wine and women as his contribution.

Now, as he emerged from Buckingham Palace, he pledged his life henceforth would be exemplary: “I am now a man devoted to service, charity and the lives of others.”

Whatever next?

Lord (Tariq) Ali?

Patting Pota

More on Vikas Pota, whose UK company, Saffron Chase, “the corporate affairs & communications strategy specialists”, intends taking the art of political lobbying in India to new heights (though we have our own time honoured ways of doing these things).

Its Indian subsidiary, to be called Chase India, has appointed Mark Runacres, former British deputy High Commissioner in Delhi, as its chairman.

“The ambition is to provide good quality strategic public affairs advice in India,” Vikas tells me. “Public affairs is an infant industry in India and we are encouraged by some of our blue chip clients who want to use our services in India. Labour Friends is a client of ours.”

What if David Cameron wins the next election?

“We’re happy to help the Conservative party also,” responds Vikas.

POOR LIKENESS: Wax statues of Mother Teresa with Pope John Paul II(top) and Mahatma Gandhi at Grevin Museum in Paris

He ticks me off for suggesting he went bungee jumping. Real men go sky diving, which is what he did, raising £40,000 for charity.

Incidentally, Vikas’s UK headquarters are located in Berkeley Square House, Mayfair, where another inmate is Lakshmi Mittal, who is not his client — yet.

Tittle tattle

The waxwork statue of Shah Rukh Khan at the Grevin Museum in Paris is superior to those of the two other personalities from India who preceded the Bollywood superstar — Mahatma Gandhi and Mother Teresa.

However, that is not saying much — though by common consent, Shah Rukh’s lookalike is impressive.