Patient: I am suffering from cough and cold.

Doctor: While learning medicine I did not study the bit about cough and cold. But I have a suggestion for you. Take a cold water bath and spend a whole night in front of the air conditioner. This will surely help you contract pneumonia, the cure for which I learnt very well.

Jayita Dutta, Class V, Our Lady Queen of the Missions School, Park Circus

Teacher: What are some of the products the West Indies is known for?

Student: I don’t know.

Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?

Student: We borrow it from our neighbour.

Manav Mirchandani, Class VIII, La Martiniere for Boys, Calcutta

Raghav: What’s your dog’s name?

Sonal: I don’t know. He just won’t tell me.

Alisha Sarkar, Class VI, St Thomas’ Girls’ School, Calcutta

Question: What part of the football pitch smells the best ?

Answer: The scenter spot!

Hardic Bhattacharya, Class VII, Patha Bhavan High School, Calcutta

Question: What is the similarity between a monkey and a coin?

Answer: Both have a head and a tail.

Suchismita Mukhopadyay, Class III, St Agnes School, Kharagpur

Wife: We have to stop eating that new super crunchy breakfast cereal.

Husband: Why? Isn’t it good for us?

Wife: It’s not that. The neighbours are complaining about the noise we make when we chew it!

Divyansh Chhaparia, Class II, Welland Gouldsmith School, Calcutta

Mohan: Sohan, why did you give me one chocolate when I asked for two?

Sohan: Ok. I’ll break it into two for you.

Agamani Choudhury, Class VI, Holy Child H.S. School, Guwahati

Ram: Are your teeth checked?

Shyam: No, they are white.

Fatema Sayeed, Class VII, Loreto Dharamtala, Calcutta

Teacher: What is the height of the Himalayas?

Avik: Four and a half centimetres.

Teacher: Where did you get that?

Avik: I measured it in my geography book.

Shreya Bose, Class V, South Point School, Calcutta

Beggar: Madam, please give me a chocolate cake.

Woman: Why?

Beggar: Today is my birthday.

Raunak Das, Class II, Springdale Primary School, Kalyani

Thief’s wife: We’ve run out of sugar. Please get some from the shop.

Thief: Wait till the shop closes and I’ll get you the sugar.

Mithi Maiti, Class IV, Shri Shikshayatan, Calcutta