Dad: This time you should get 95.

Son: No, I shall get 100.

Dad: Why are you joking?

Son: Who started the joke?

Rinita Saha, Class I, St Jude’s High School, Madhyamgram

Policeman to a motorist : I’ll have to report you, Sir. You were doing at least 80 miles an hour.

Motorist : Nonsense, Constable. I’ve only been driving for 10 minutes.

Krittika Gupta, Class VI, Birla High School (Girls’ Section), Calcutta

Shyam: I bet my father can beat your father.

Ram: I bet your father can’t touch a single hair on my father’s head.

Shyam: Why? Is he a wrestler?

Ram: No, he’s bald!

Damini Sarkar, Class VI, Mahavir Institute of Education & Research, Calcutta

Question: What did Wild Mutt eat after Ben pulled out his tooth?

Answer: He ate Ben.

Abhishek Pattanayak, Class VI, Kendriya Vidyalaya, Fort William, Calcutta

Maths teacher: Add six slices of tomatoes, two slices of cucumber, four wedges of onion, three chillies and one slice of lemon. What do you get?

Student: You get a nice vegetable salad, Ma’am!

Ankita Dutta, Class VII, Carmel High School (Secondary Section), Calcutta

Teacher: When an apple fell on

Newton’s head while he was sitting under a tree, he discovered gravity. Now tell me, Rahul, why do you think there is no force of gravity on the moon?

Rahul: Because there is no apple tree on the moon.

Sayantan Bhanja, Class V, St Joseph’s & Mary’s School, Calcutta

Milkman: Sir, do you want some milk?

Customer: Are you sure the milk is pure?

Milkman (with dignity): Yes, Sir. Every drop of water added to the milk is filtered!

Ronita Singha, Class IV, Niharbindu Balika Bidyalaya, Calcutta

Question: What did the chicken do in the science lab?

Answer: Eggs-periment.

Somnath Pati, Class VI, St Paul’s School, Rourkela, Orissa

Question: How do you tell which end of a worm is the head?

Answer: Tickle its middle and see which end laughs.

Fatema Sayeed, Class VIII, Loreto Day School, Dharamtalla

Patient: Doctor, I think I am really going mad.

Doctor: Why? What happened?

Patient: I have started writing letters to myself.

Doctor: When did you write the last one?

Patient: Ah! How would I know? I haven’t received it yet.

Amarnath Pati, Class VIII, St Paul’s School, Rourkela, Orissa