HE IS MY SOUL... 
I have to coordinate a lot of things because I am a single mother. My parents, who are my pillars, are the ones who are there for me most of the time. My son Mark is surrounded by loved ones so he doesn’t feel the emptiness that much. The times he remembers me most are when he goes to sleep or when he wakes up. I make it a point to be there with him then. When I am out of Mumbai, 
I feel sorry sometimes, but I cannot help it. I miss Mark a lot. He is my soul. 

 

Had it not been for modelling...
For Mark, I have fought and come out of a storm. I wanted to give him a healthy life. I did not want a negative aura around him. It affects a child’s psychology. He’d rather be without a father than... I don’t want to talk too much about the past. I wanted to start a new chapter, so I left everything. Then I came back and had it not been for modelling, I would not have been so capable of getting out of this trauma. Of course, my family supported the decision I took. When I came back, my son was five months old and I was back on the ramp and looking the way I look right now. I was breastfeeding, and still, I was working. It was like starting all over again but because of my modelling fraternity and my goodwill, they gave me a second chance. Of course, I had to prove myself again. I had the desire and the willpower to do it again. 

I am both mamma and papa...
We have kept Mark occupied like putting him into singing classes… let’s see where his future takes him. He can recognise me in any avatar… any make-up! You ask him, ‘Who do you like on the ramp?’, he’ll say ‘Mamma!’ I am both mamma and a papa for him. Drawing and reading books with him and being a boy with him are some my favourite pastimes. I have lots of energy… playing cricket, running around, boxing, swimming, taking him to the play-zone… whatever makes him happy.

 

 

I make it a point to drop him off till the school bus stand. I talk to him at regular intervals when he comes back from school… before he goes to sleep. If I am at home, I make it a point to serve him food and read him books… ask how his day was. That’s how I cover up for the days that I am not at home. 

I will tell him NOT to become a model
For me it was important to make my child understand and respect women who are working. He should also know where mamma works and what she does so that when he grows up, he has respect for his mother and the sacrifices I have made. 

 

I know he misses me when I am not at home. He asks me every single day, ‘When are you coming back?’ He also understands that mamma has to work, not so much for herself, but for him and for the family. When I am there with him, I try and make it up. He acts his age. I am a family person. When I am home, I am home. I am dedicated to him. That’s why you won’t see me partying. The only thing I do is go for a cup of coffee with a few friends and catch a movie. Other than that, I have no other interests in my life, except for my son. 

What would I tell Mark when he grows up?                                                                                                               To definitely not become a model! There isn’t that much work when it comes to male models. Bollywood, definitely! Actually, whatever he decides, I will support him. If he needs my advice, I will give him my advice, but he has to fall and get up on his own.

 

                                                                                                                              As told to Saionee Chakraborty 
                                                                                                                              Pictures: Anindya Shankar Ray